Trip Report
by Don Perry
Friday, 3/21: Drove to A.C. with LenG in his TurboBug. He is a damn good
friend who looks out for me in many ways since I have become somewhat
gimpy,and I want to thank him publicly, even though he now loudly and
publicly refers to my by the appellation, "Gimpy." We made the trip in
about 3 ½ hrs., a record from Eastern Long Island. I won't say Len drives
too aggressively but during one tailgating session I was able to see myself
in the leading cars rearview mirror. The ride was a thrill fest. At one
point he was driving so fast that our watches were actually running
backwards. Having previously been Len's passenger, I was wearing Oops I
Crapped My Pants brand Adult diapers and thus was "safe" during the
two-wheeled turns, etc. I fully intend to keep my promise to God that I
would, if I arrived safely home, sacrifice Fluffy, the family dog, and I
will begin attending church daily and will donate the kidney, as per my
silent vow. Look for me at BARGE in a monks garb.
I won't bore you with the check-in details and will skip right to the
Tropicana's $ 200.00 buy in tournament. I doubled through early with KK
which held up. Although I played brilliantly I had left my lucky pen in my
room and thus lost my chips fairly early on, which gave me the opportunity
to retrieve my pen and join a 5-5 pot limit game. I put about $500.00 on the
table which I spent testing the waters, giving me a chance to observe my
adversary's style of play, pick up their tells, etc. Once I was confident I
had this down I put another $ 800.00 on the table and prepared to play in
earnest, utilizing an approach which I have developed independent of the
advice of Sklansky, Malmuth,Krieger and the other conservative poker
theorists. My approach, which I call "advanced big-wheel strategy" is : "bet
big to win big" and I thus found myself all in after a flop of A 7 x, with
AQoff. One opponent had AK and one had flopped a set of 7's which became
quad 7's on the turn leaving me the feeling that I was unlikely to win. I
was correct. I was going to fish out another $1000.00, but realized at that
point that these two adversaries were genetically altered mutants who were
probably the result of a military operation to develop clairvoyants. I now
believe that I was involved in a test of their capabilities vis-a-vis
civilians. I heard them later splitting their winnings and confirming my
belief that they could mentally see not only the rank and suit of my hole
cards but a certain thought I had regarding Desiree, our cocktail waitress
and a pair of handcuffs which had inadvertently been put in my suitcase. I
left the game down a total for the evening's play about $1300.00, and went
to bed a wiser man.
Saturday 3/23: Off to the ATLARGE tourney with my lucky pen and renewed
confidence and vigor !! First at my table I chanted my new Mantra quietly to
myself, " bet big to win big. The table soon filled and I found myself
seated two seats to the left of a dark cloud known to some as Raydon, my
personal Teddy KGB. I vowed not to let him push me off good cards, as he is
known for playing trash. I soon found myself with pocket tens and when Ray
raised the $10.00 big blind making it $30.00 I raised by $100. Ray re-raised
all in and I called. Ray turns over AA. IGHN, 1st out, with a copy of Poker
for Dummies by Lou Krieger. It is a fine book, deficient only in failing to
discuss the big wheel approach. I'm sure this will be corrected in the next
edition.
Having busted out first I wander the casino floor and dabble at roulette.
Ka-ching!! $50. on 35 pays off after a few bets and this r00ler is back in
action!!
I sit down at the legendary pink chip game and by 6:30 PM I am up about
$300. Joan Hadley stops by and asks to borrow my pen to complete a survey.
How can I say no to this wonderful woman? She disappears with my pen, and my
chips disappear in a raising war. I have flopped a heart flush, I hold the
King. Of course the river brings a 4th heart and my opponent playing a black
king has the Ace of hearts! IGHN.
Dinner at the Golden Dynasty. Good company, Chic Natkins and his girlfriends
Kate, Joan Hadley and LenG. The food is mediocre at best. I have a duck that
apparently suffered from a lipid disorder, and is basically a mass of fat in
oyster sauce. I have it wrapped to take home, and as I type, Fluffy is
enjoying her last meal with gusto. She always loved duck. I have a martini,
against Drs. orders, and a brief reaction to my medication combined with the
alcohol leaves me unconscious for several hours. I awake and return to the
poker room where I find Len has put my name on the baby pot limit list,
apparently at the request of those already in the game! I am promptly
escorted to an back room and an isolated table with an open seat.
Baby PL Game: A table full of drunks greet me with wildly enthusiastic
cheers, and I know my fellow rgp'ers are happy to see me at the table! My
heart warms until I find that I am seated next to........Raydon. Jaeger,
Matt Treasure, Steve Carbonara, Big Al and Mordecai are also present. I wait
for good cards, have my lucky pen, bet big to win big and OHHHH BABY....I
own Raydon!!!!!!....and the table....until we are joined by a total non-rgp
stranger who after several consecutive wins becomes known as Dr. Selfish
Phuc for his unwillingness to share any pots with anyone for about 3 hours
running. He could not loose. He killed the game. We took turns calling him
down, and while I will skip the play by play I will share with you some
quotes that came as we saw his cards:
LenG: Nice hand, Selfish, your flush is better than mine.
Mordecai: I'm ashamed to say it, but your sixes are good.
Big Al: Your Ace takes it.
Jaeger: Oh, you have a pair. Cocktails!!!
Matt Treasure: I'm gonna go get something to eat. Good hand.
Raydon: Give me the next seat change. Good hand.
Don Perry: You really are a Selfish Phuc Dr.! What's your specialty.... the
chipectomy? I need another fat free sugar free chocolate milk.
4:30 AM game breaks and the Dr. leaves with all our chips and his
entourage. I go play some stud till 6 AM, do nothing and go to bed. ATLARGE
is an awesome memory. 4 months to BARGE. Here Fluffy, Here Girl.
