Trip Report
by Nolan Dalla
Nolan Dalla
ATLARGE Trip Report
Atlantic City, NJ
March 20-24, 1997
"THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD"
****************
The long and winding road,
that leads to your door,
has left me standing here.
****************
Introduction: This year, I was content NOT to post an ATLARGE trip
report. This decision came about for three reasons:
First, I couldn't possibly do justice to so many events and
unique personalties. How to chose from among them when writing such a
report
Second, my memory for detail (re-constructing hands, chip
counts, etc.) is admittedly imperfect. In fact, when laced with
single-malt scotch which flowed gratuitously from a certain hotel room --
my capacity for testimony is downright appalling. Of course, to regular
readers of my column -- this should come as no suprise.
Third -- and perhaps most important -- I lament my inability to
include EVERYONE in the report -- including some old friends, and others
whom I met for the first time. To those who do not find themselves in the
report, please don't view my omission with personal disappointment or
disdain. Keeping in mind that last year's BARGE trip report contained 6
separate chapters, each in excess of 2,000 words, I'll try to keep some
things here to a minimum (the key word in that last sentence is SOME.
Major embarassments and personal indecretions will be exaggerated for
their full entertainment value).
As I was saying -- my erstwhile intent was to remain hidden behind a
panelled glass of cyberkenetic solitude, escaping into an inner-sanctum of
inconspicuous spitrtuality and metaphysical simulacrum. AND THEN IT
HAPPENED, I began reading OTHER trip reports.
My blood pressure increased. I started sweating. Beads of perspiration
globulated beneath my brow. My hands began to tremble. Tears swelled in
my eyes. Sitting beside me, Marietta (Mrs. Dalla) sensed something was
wrong, especially since it wasn't even football season.
"That's it! I've had enough!" I cried. "Shut off the 486! Do it now!"
I unplugged the monitor. I turned out the lights.
"No more poker! No more RGP!"
I shut it off for three whole days.
I tried to ccupy my time in other ways. I looked around the house for
good books to read. But the bookshelves were only stocked with the
seductive works of Sklansky, Malmuth, Caro, and Zee -- a quartet of
omnipotent voices who cried out to me in the night.
Resigned to my cerebral imprisonment I searched the pantry for a video.
Some choice. Alas, it was a decision between World Series of Poker
highlight films from 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993, 1994, or 1995.
"No more poker!" I screamed.
I drank a few shots of brandy, hoping the ruffle of flopping imaginary
sets and hitting flush draws on the river would subside. But the
temptation became too strong. Finally, I just couldn't take it any more!
I had to do it. It was like drugs, alcohol, and (dare I say) gambling --
an irresistible vice over which I am powerless and occasionally reduced to
a dribbling and babbling foray of emotions!
My friends, I confess, I am a trip report addict! Call the Oprah show!
Book me on Geraldo! Please....no Jenny Jones (I heard the actuarial
tables for participants on that show are not particularly encouraging).
The admitance of self-addiction is the first step toward recovery. So, on
this cool and cloudy Monday afternoon at 3:00 pm -- while the cherry
blossoms are in full bloom around our nation's capital where I reside --
sans notes, I begin to write -- placing my quill to paper, or more
precisely the bones of my naked flesh upon the keyboard.
Here's my (and I hope "your") daily FIX on "The Long and Winding Road" of
poker dependency:
THURSDAY
---------- $15-30 Hold'Em / $10-20 Hold'Em (Taj Mahal)
Call it "the Russell Rosenbloom Show" --- Since the $15-30 is a dead game,
I transfer to the adjacent table. I see RGPer Russell Rosenbloom.
Russell simply dominates the table. When faced with any decision, there
are only two options for Russell: RAISE or FOLD. Fed-up with the
ceaseless raising and re-raising, one of the locals quips, "It's also your
option to just CALL a bet if you want to, Sir." Most interesting hand
occurs when every round is capped and at the end Russell shows down a nut
flush, the local to his left shows a full house, and the third player
shows broadway (Russell lost the hand on the river when the board paired).
How the clown with Broadway stayed is anyone's guess. Were it not for
that painful loss (maybe a $400-500 pot), Russell would have filled yet
another chip rack.
RGP people will love this one! --- An interesting conversation takes place
at the table when a local pro (whom I know from the regular pot limit
game) starts talking. He's beaming with confidence and remarks, "Hey, all
these computer guys are coming into town this weekend." He goes on to say
that he expects to kick everybody's ass and make tons of money from "them"
(Note: He did not know that yours truly was included amidst the "computer
guys").
"Oh yeah?" I ask. "How do you know they're so soft?"
The pro goes on with some ellaborate explanation of how he plans to run
over the "nerd types (his own words)" with his aggression. I can barely
contain myself from an odd junction of laughter and taking personal
offense at his unfair characterization. But, I'm content to remain silent
with the knowledge that UNDERESTIMATING YOUR OPPONENTS is the fatal flaw
of many otherwise good poker players. We'll just see who ass get's
kicked.
---------------- Gentlemen's Smoker (Taj Mahal)
Hail Tiger! --- Again, I can only add to the many posted accolades and
congratulatory remarks directed toward Tiger for his Herculean efforts on
our behalf. Several people already know this, but I should point-out once
again that Tiger went to a great deal of trouble in SAVING the smoker from
last minute extinction -- even though, at the time, he was not sure if he
himself would be able to make the engagement. This selfless act of
heroism deserves high praise and everyone's gratitude (remove lips from
Tiger's ass now).
Also, the visit from Tom Gitto, Ron Garvey, and Tony Marino was a real
treat. Everyone in the ATLARGE contingent greatly appreciated the Taj
gifts -- which included two t-shirts, a hat, two decks of cards, and a
poker book for each one of us (Bad joke here: For any of you who don't
like your **black** t-shirt, just place it in the wash -- and you'll get
back a **grey** one).
One funny sidebar to the fancy dinner (which has nothing to do with poker)
occurs when I hear one of our group complaining about his cut of beef to
the waiter. Suddenly, I had this flashback of the time I once worked in a
restaurant several years ago and used to hear complaints (you can imagine
how many times they complained about my service). "Waiter! My steak is
overcooked! The potato is raw! Blah, Blah, Blah." When faced with such
trivial discourteousies, I used to parrot a line that would usually leave
'em rolling.....either that, or get me a complete 'stiff' on the check.
"Allright Sir, I can certainly understand your displeasure. Would it make
you any happier if we shoot the cook, fire the manager, and burn the
restaurant down to the ground?" Fortunately, our service was void of
ritualized Southern sarcasm, and everyone enjoyed an outstanding dinner
(except for the guy who complained about his cut, I suppose).
Special note to Dave Trinidad --- who deserves some extra notoriety here
for coming all the way to Atlantic City from Phoenix to attend ATLARGE.
Dave and Patti Beadles (from San Francisco) get the ATLARGE "greatest
distance traveled awards."
(To be continued)..........maybe
