Trip Report
by Rob "Suddenly" Catlett
Suddenly's ATLARGE Trip Report, or "Mangos, threes, and other perversions".
...and then the Rabidly Outspoken Evangelical Christian Asian Law Student
suddenly confessed a statutory rape to the entire table. You see, God would
protect him if he just told the truth and accepted his sins.. Which may or may
not work but I can say that no lawyer would be able to unless he would shut the
heck up.
We are getting ahead of ourselves though. Because of a series of events
probably only slightly below the "ye gads" factor of the above, the trial on
Monday didn't go so I wound up in AC a few days early for ATLARGE. Which I
think is a good thing. So I spend some extra time in the splendor... er...
squalor... of the Taj low-limit section.
The trip in wasn't all that eventful. It was about 65F when I left
Charleston WV, so I of course didn't think to take a coat or anything. On
my way I had to stop in the northern part of the state to talk to a few clients
sorta forced to live there. The only garment I had suitable for the 40F weather
I now found myself in was... my ATLARGE sweatshirt from last year. So.... I now
have a "prison worn" ATLARGE sweatshirt. Does that make it a collectable?
Other than that everything went just fine. Played some poker on Wednesday and
Thursday. Sat there listening to my Ipod, just relishing in the brainlessness
of the whole ordeal. Decompress.
Then Friday was upon us. I wake up and eat a handful of dried mango. I've
developed a small problem with dried mango and may need to seek help. I go down
to the room, register for the tournament and get my atlarge stuff and hang out
and then... ugh. I have to go back to the room. NOW. Rutgers' Revenge or
something.
On reflection, trying to, with dignity and tact, explain to the maid who
doesn't speak English all that well that you would be most gratified if
she would just go ahead and skip cleaning the bathroom because it would be a
futile exercise, one taking up time you would really, really, rather use in a
different way, was a task I think I handled quite well. I even managed to get
her to leave a few extra towels. Of course maybe I didn't need to include
any of this.... nevermind.
So I go back to play in the HOE. I remember some of it. At some point in Omaha
I think I manage to win the whole high and 1/3 of the low with the nut low and
a pair of fours or something silly. I do remember getting rolled up kings in a
hand against Jodi that filled up on the river. I think my Omaha tournament
strategy (find a decent starting hand and just keep betting... if you get
raised just re-raise. The sooner you get your money in the more chances to suck
out) worked well for me as it has in the FARGO pairs tourneys. My stud8 and
holdem strategy (fold) worked even better. We got to eight handed and stayed
there forever. Every player at the table besides Gabe was all in at some point.
Epic struggle. Then we lost four players in some sort of cataclysm that stopped
as suddenly as it started, and we played four handed for several days.
There is much controversy over what happened next. We were in a holdem round.
Jodi was raising every hand. Well... 60% or so anyway. Now and then Bill, Gabe,
or I would poke our heads up and toss up a raise. On the fateful hand, Jodi
opened under the gun for a raise. I find a pair of nines and re-raise. Bill
shrugs and dumps all his chips into the pot, and we both call. I have about a
big bet left. Flop comes QTX. Crap. I call the flop and turn, both blanks. We
turn over our cards. I have 99, Bill has AK, and Jodi has something with a ten
in it. The river blanks, so Bill and I are eliminated in the same hand, but
I'm third because I'm better at math.
Okay okay... because I had more chips. Geesh.
Later that night, I'm waiting for my friend to get in, I told him to find
me in the poker room. I'm just sitting there, Minding my own business in a
3-6 game, some guy starts talking about something and asks me what I do and
like a fool I tell him and now he wants to discuss the criminal mind with me.
General BS, nurture v. nature, can some people be fixed or are some hopeless.
We are blathering away, me in the 7 seat, other guy in the 9 seat, when the
young Asian kid in the 10 seat interrupts.
"Can I just say something sir?"
"Sure" I shrug, mildly alarmed at the aggressive politeness.
"They are possessed by demons and only Jesus can save them."
I nod. I then continue the last answer to the other guy, who really wants me to
tell him it is alright to bang the chick that he caught stealing from her
because she can learn to be honest and he can tell she really loves him...
which is in and of itself an alarming conversation too complicated to relate.
But the poor kid has this tortured look about him.
"Can I say something else sir?"
"Well... sure."
"I think that anyone can be saved, but the only way to do it is by accepting Jesus and turning yourself over to His will."
"Does that help with mango addiction?"
"Huh?"
This goes in circles for a few minutes. The one guy is talking about types of
criminal personalities and the kid's face keeps getting more and more
intense as he throws in more comments about Jesus. He's no longer paying
attention to the game at all. The dealer has to remind him every time it is his
turn and he just throws chips in. His delays and the fact that he wins four
huge pots with complete trash hands has the other end of the table at near
mutiny. He fixes me with a earnest glare and asks me "Do you think I'm
insane?"
"I kinda do now."
"Why?"
"Well.... because you asked."
He got even more anxious. Still tossing in chips whenever the dealer prompted
him, not so lucky now.
He starts asking me about law school. He attends one in the Ivy League. I smile
and say something like "Well, don't feel bad. Not everyone can get into
WVU."
No response. He wonders if I ever felt really anxious and worried during law
school. I tell him no. He's dumfounded.
I explain that the way I saw it, the drive to the school was the most dangerous
part of the day. The worst thing that could happen to me at school was not
becoming a lawyer. Damn far sight from being eaten by bears....
This is when he explains to pretty much everyone that he had sex with a fifteen
year old girl and he's worried about getting in trouble. Apparently he
told his entire law school class about it and "now they think I'm weird."
I mean does this happen in 20-40 games?
At some point he asked me if I would say anything about his little problem
because he was going into politics. Before I can answer someone else asks if he
has any other secrets. Apparently nothing but his serious drug use and some
hookers.
Then my friend shows up. Good thing.
The next day at the no limit I'm doing alright until the table change. I
walk into the force of nature that is Chic with a monster stack. He would have
had an insane stack but... he kept taking brutal, brutal beats from the same
two guys, one of whom would celebrate each time. We develop a small "criminal
attorneys v. collection attorneys" rivalry that lasts until I make a stupid
play to cripple myself (just say no to AQ), and then I get busted by Chic.
The rest of Saturday is spent tormenting a guy in a 5-10 game. I get on the
list for the pink game, but no open seat yet so I go play 5-10. Some guy is
critical of my play. He thinks raising is evil. However, he seems to call most
of my raises then fold to any post-flop action. So now I start raising with
pretty much everything, and re-raise him every time he raises because he will
lay it down if he doesn't hit. Early on I make consecutive runner-runner
club flush draws (the first I had overcards, the second I had monster ITOs
(implied tilt odds.)
Soon we have a rocking 5-10 game as nobody will fold to my raises, and the
anti-raiser is headed off cursing my name. I love games where big pots are
built pre-flop and everyone thinks chasing is evil and wrong. Soon I become
disgusted with the dirty red chips, and see an empty seat in the pink game. It
breaks before I can get back from the cage with chips. I consider that a proper
show of respect for my card catching skills.
Pretty much it for Saturday. I wonder through the suite and see The Worst
Laydown Ever in what I think is a 1-2 or 2-4 game. I'll say no more.
The Stud tournament was enjoyable. Sort of a weird lazy Sunday post-Apocalypse
feel to it. I keep a decent stack most of the way through thanks to my catching
running threes on two consecutive hands where I managed to build huge pots
while drawing close to dead. I manage to lose a bunch of chips right before the
final table and then at the final table fold a bunch of times, finally get all
in with the first hand that had a three in it and lose to Sabyl's somewhat
gratuitous full house.
Thus another ARG trip came to a close.
So what happened?
The good:
1) Fun time with people whose company I enjoy.
2) Cashed at least once in four consecutive ARG trips
3) At least seven runner-runner suckouts.
4) Made someone who wears sunglasses in a 5-10 game cry. (See (3) above)
5) Friend from home won like $400 playing 2-4 on Friday and Saturday
The Bad:
Still have gone nowhere in ARG NLHE events.
The Ugly:
I think Jerrod Ankenman may have ruined my life. Okay... not nearly that
dramatic, but I'm sitting there during a break, and there is a
conversation about PokerStars and player numbers and that some of the games
there are rakeless. Jerrod says something like "I wonder what a decent winrate
is for a no rake nickle / dime game?"
I didn't think much of it at the time. But it just stuck in the back of my
head and now I'm like Kevin Mchale in that "Cheers" episode where he
wonders how many bolts there are in the court at the Garden....
Hopefully I'll get over it but if I don't I'll have decent idea
of it by next year...
Ugh. Maybe I should start a pool....
